see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
