I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
