Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
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Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
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Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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