i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
