Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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