like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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