She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
