we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
