I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Two words: nipple clamps
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