My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
