The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
