Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Randomize
