Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
