I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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