I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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