I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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