i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
