How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
