I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Randomize
