I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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