The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
