Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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