Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
