Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
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Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
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That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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