Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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