There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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