Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize