the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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