I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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