wrigley field is MILF paradise
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize