Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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