I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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