"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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