I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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