why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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