So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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