Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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