Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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