tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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