okay pat passed out under dana's car
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
