Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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