I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
