You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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