um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
