Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
