Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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