Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
