The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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