My brain says no but my pants say off.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Did I show you my penis last night?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
