Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize