i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
being pregnant is like rehab
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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