I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize