Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
