I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
