that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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