Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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