Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize