shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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