I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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