.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
