It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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