too bad you live with your parents still
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
