She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
