Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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