It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
