worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
